I Can't Get Her/Him To Practice

Well, of course you cannot! No child ever wants to do what their parent's want them to. Right?
As director of Academy of Fine Arts, I do understand you wanting them to practice their art of music, dance, gymnastics, etc. a good thirty minutes a day. But believe me, as a parent also, it just is not going to happen!

At least it is not going to happen at the day, time and moment you want it to. I too struggled with the idea that my child (or even grandchild) should be working out every day and practicing what we are paying for. Even though I own the school, I still had to pay the teachers that my family members took under and wanted to be sure that I got what I was paying for! Reasonable, right? Not really when you stop and think about it.

I finally realized that I was not paying tuition for my child to practice. I was actually paying tuition for my child to "take a weekly lesson" and that practicing at home just did not fit into the mix at all.
So this meant that I had to re-focus my intentions and re-direct my children (and grandchildren) to a whole new idea of what practice might be.

Ever wonder why on weekends that your child "plays school" when they have already been in school all week?  You would think they would be tired of school, right? When in fact what they are doing is not practicing their school work, but actually putting what they had learned during the week into action. Playing school is not work, it is a fun project!

So why not allow practicing dance or music, stretching for gymnastics or writing choreography and theatrical movements be play? Why not allow them to take what they have learned from class this week and teach it back to imaginary friends, dolls, stuffed animals or siblings?

I can remember parents in the past asking how my children became accomplished dancers, gymnasts, athletes and musicians (yes they all played instruments as well as danced, tumbled, played softball and basketball and even  cheered). How many hours a week did I make them practice? My answer? ZERO. Not even when they were in the high school band. Why? Because I did not want to push them towards "I want to give up".

Instead of practicing at home, we played. They played "dance teacher", "gymnastic coach", " cheer coach". "music teacher", "band director" to their siblings, friends from across the street, their dolls and stuffed bears, and yes even to family members that were over for dinner or adult friends that had stopped by.

Every weekend was a time that they worked on putting together a new performance, The performance was usually unveiled on Sunday evenings in its full array of music, movement, singing and playing instruments! I actually miss those performances. They were creative, colorful, cooperative and insightful. They changed with the seasons. They changed with the weather. But they were all wonderful!

There was no scheduled practice time at home. Ever. But once in high school and having a playing test the next week, the instruments did come out. They came out for practice on their own, because now there was something at risk. Grades.

Once in Junior and Senior High, you would find them stretching and working out on their own. Why? Because now there was competition dance team, cheer squad, basketball team, softball team and skills they wanted to get down for class.

Practice is something that I believe a child has to grow into. Before age 12 years, it is best to leave it up to play. After all, all of the current personal development coaches say, "If you want to become an expert at something, first learn to teach it."

So let the young child teach what they have learned to other, imaginary and real. And keep the classes there on a weekly basis so that they can teach something new each week. Let them grow into their art methods. Let them grow as a teacher. Let them grow into a wonderful, accomplished sons and daughters. Let them play.