Bring A Friend Week

So When Is Big Not Better?

We sometimes have a problem in the states. It is the "Big Is Better" Syndrome. We choose to shop in large malls that provide a majority of Big Retail stores. We buy memberships to large shopping clubs to receive Big Discounts. We drive Big SUVs and have a Big Gas bill and insurance bill so that we have comfort and are considered well to do. We overlook the small fitness gyms in favor of the Big Ones, because that is where everyone goes.

We also look at Big Universities for our children, in hopes that it will bring about Big Accomplishments. We select Big Team Sports over individual ones, so that our child can sit the bench with the other 12 in case they do not get to play. We hold their birthday parties at the locations with the Biggest Party Room, just in case all 22 children invited might show up.

So when is BIG not really better?

We complain about our children's classrooms being over filled and the teacher has no time for each individual child. We complain about our daycare systems and how they do not hire enough top quality people to care for all the children on site.

We complain when the drive through at the local fast food place to get a meal for our children that is guaranteed to make them happy, is too long of a wait. And we complain that the drive is too far to the Bigger and Better school across town because we like their playground better.

We complain that our child does not get enough attention in a dance class because there are three lines, and ours is always on the back row. We complain that our child tool three years of gymnastics and cannot do a technically correct cartwheel yet. We complain that the band director at the public school has no time to work with our child and how unfair that is.

So when is Big Not Better?

We complain that our two hour trip to a movie theater to see a movie on a Bigger Screen with Bigger Sound was a bust because we did not like the movie. We complain that when we went to the Big Town for our anniversary, we had to wait for over an hour to be seated to eat.

So when is Big Not Better?

We complain that the special group we hold membership in, is no longer working for us and search out another Big Group or one that everyone wants to be a member of. We complain that life is  not fair and we want someone else life, happiness, family, friends, business, church, etc., etc.

So when is Big Not Better?

Well, I believe that Big is Not Better when the situation makes you unhappy and you can only see and hear the complaints. Nothing about staying in those situations, or seeking out other similar groups, places, sports, activities and friends, will make a Big Difference.

I can say that I do believe that smaller, more intimate, supporting, loving, positive and uplifting choices can make a Big Difference in your life and of those you love.

So when is Big Not Better in a fine arts school, gym or sport?

*When your child takes more than two years of classes and has not developed a vocabulary for the movements, steps, and technique.
*When your child cannot tell you what they worked on in class or training that day.
*When your child has not been helped to explore the history and passion of and for what they participate in.
*When your child is afraid to miss a practice or class because they had been "throwing up" the night before.
*When your child wants to sit the bench with 12 others so they "can belong" and not be noticed for their efforts or do so to please a friend or parent.
*When your child is so overlooked by the teacher or coach because they (the coach/teacher) do not see the value of having to help your child to become better. It is not their job.
*When you, as their parent, have tears in your eyes and hold disappointment in your heart because your child is not being fully valued.
*When your tears and disappointment have turned to anger and rage at the teacher or coach's insensitivity to those that are not included fully in some way.
*When your budget and time will not allow you to get private coaching and lessons so you can then put them back into the Big Events at a better or higher participating level.
*When you just want to yank them from the program and teach your child to quit.

When Small May Be Better........

Our daughters took part in group school sports as well as non-school groups and individual situations. They did not attend the largest dance conventions, sports camps or played on the most dominant summer sports leagues. All three attended small private universities. They competed in small group and solo dance competitions. All three were involved in university level sports. They are all doing very well in life and are now raising their own families. One is a mental health expert, another a Chiropractor and the other a multi business manager.

When together and reminiscing about their time together, they talk only a tiny bit of time about their school sports and large group activities. Mostly they talk and laugh about the good times and friends at our school, dance conventions, dance recitals, solos dances that went well and some that did not. I love taking a back seat and watching all of this instead of joining in and trying to lead the conversation. They watch old dance recital videos. They ask if I know what ever happened to former friends and classmates.

I get teary eyed at times at watching this amazing thing that happens. I see how strong they are. How well rounded they are in life, without being too well rounded that they are a square peg that does not fit. I am happy that I said "no" a few times to groups they wanted to be a part of for all the wrong reasons. And I know that Big is Not Better because it never gives you the time and the space to find your real self and your own passions.

But My Child Wasn't Learning And Wants To Do Something Else

It's that time of year again. Your child want's to go do what their new friend is doing, even though you have spent hours and money in classes already. What to do?

The first thing is to talk to your child's teacher or coach you have been taking classes with first. Before any decision  is made. They may have some great insights for you to share with your child.

Did you know that probably 90 % of the time when a child is allowed to quit classes, change classes or even change where they have been training, that child was at a point of achieving something great in class, and then it is over by one decision to let them quit or change. When making them stick it out could of made all of the difference.

Adults that have a hard time holding a job for a great deal of time or have difficulty in following through and completing projects , have shared that their parents allowed them to start and stop things at a whim or for what was the most popular at the time. They, as employees, find themselves disorganized, unfocused and unable to make great life changing decisions. Most will say that they wish their parents had held to their decision about lessons and made them continue.

There is great value in being consistent and persistent when it comes to training for your child. And though your child may whine and want to go with their friends, constantly changing  may actually devalue the training you have already acquired.

What helps a child to progress in classes? Consistency mostly. Constant training from one great source of information and background. Year after year training with the same source is the most beneficial. It allows the students to grow and develop in skills, mature and become comfortable and trusting not only in their own abilities, but also trusting in the source of the training.

Persistency is also important. Those that are taught to stick things out through to the end are the ones that will see themselves completing their college education and following their dreams. They have been taught that there is value in following through to the end, and little value in starting, stopping, starting, stopping and starting again.

The performing and fine arts training your child is involved in can make a great difference in their lives. It can teach them that when things are hard, you just push a little harder. When things are tough, you work a little tougher. When you fall down, you get up. And when you friends are going off and doing one thing and then the next, you stick it out for the long run, because you may not be an Olympic Gymnast or a Prima Ballerina, but sticking with the fine arts for years in succession in one solid training ground, just may help you to be a doctor, physiologist, school teacher, nurse, writer, artist or business owner. Just like some of our former students that stayed in classes through their senior year in high school.

Yes, there is value is sticking things out. There is also great value in continuing your training under the same teacher, coach or institution. There is great value in the fine arts.

 

 

NOW REGISTERING FOR THIS FUN MASTER CLASS IN AUGUST!

 

This is a great class for students in acrobatics, tumbling, gymnastics and dance!

Master Teachers will be teaching beginner to intermediate level skills depending on the age and level of the students.

 

5 yrs and up!

 

LIMITED ENROLLMENT!

The Value of Dance Classes by Rhiannon McGinnis Tuck

We have another guest BLOGGER today. Former student Rhiannon McGinnis Tuck shares with you what dance meant to her and how it has empowered her life as a public educator and parent of twin girls:

My name is Rhiannon McGinnis Tuck and I have been teaching Kindergarten for 11 years. I have always loved dance and I started dancing when I was just 2 years old and continued formally dancing until my freshman year of college. Dance has taught me so much in life and one thing that it has taught me is dedication. To be a dancer you have to be dedicated- to practice, stay healthy, stretch, etc. Through my dedication that I had towards dance I have learned to keep trying in all that I do. I know that practice makes permanent and I have carried this over into my classroom to teach my students. I have taught them to practice things that are taught and it will get easier. It has also helped me out being a mom and helping my girls. I have taught them and shown them to have dedication in all that they do in life whether it be sports, dance, or school.

Dance has taken me many places in my life. Some of my very fondest memories involve dance in some way. I actually did things through dance that I never dreamed I would get to do. Some of these include: dancing in the halftime of the Citrus Bowl Game, dancing on a cruise ship, dancing during high school football games, and being on a competitive dance team. What fun learning experiences I had from being in dance.

As an adult a way that I still incorporate dance into my life is every morning in school I dance with my Kinders. It is a great brain break and they LOVE free dancing and me teaching them dances. It is a bonding experience for us all. It also helps keep up fit and active in a very fun way. I also take a ZUMBA class and since I grew up being a dancer I catch onto the dances very easily and I love dancing to stay in shape! It is so fun it doesn’t even feel like exercise.

I am a mother of twin 8 year old girls. One of my highlights of being a mom is that now my girls are taking dance class. I get to see the love and passion of dance through their eyes. Since I grew up dancing I can properly help them with their dance routines. I then get to see them on stage dancing and having the time of their life! I can honestly say that dance has made one of the biggest impact on my life!

Skills and Values From Dance by Krista Smith Asbell

Note* Dear readers, I have asked some former students, that are now grown and parenting their own children , to write as a guest blogger on what skills and values they received from taking dance classes, that they now realize have carried over to their adult life. My hope is that this will be fresh, first hand information that new families to dance or other classes will find helpful in supporting their child's effort. I believe you will find great value in the perception of these young mothers.

 

Our first Guest Blogger is Krista Smith Asbell :

 

I have always loved to dance.  My parents used to take me to a Mexican restaurant that had a mariachi.  When I was 18 months old, I would climb out of my seat and dance to the mariachi's music.  Today, 28 years later, one of my favorite things to do is to go dancing with my husband or dancing in the living room with my 18 month old daughter.  Dance taught me so many things.  It taught me how nothing comes without hard work, to live a healthy lifestyle, and if you’re having a bad day – get moving!  I can not wait for my daughter to start dance lessons, so I can watch her grow, not only as a dancer, but as a person. 

            I began dance as an activity when I was in the third grade.  When I was in the fourth grade, I begged Miss Mary to not take ballet.  However, I disappointingly enrolled for tap, jazz, and the dreaded ballet.  See, I did not understand that ballet is the foundation for ALL types of dance.  I had no idea the great things ballet, alone, was doing for me.  Ballet, in my opinion, is the hardest type of dance.  It is more structured, requires more technique, and requires more muscle control and conditioning than the other forms of dance.  Without ballet, you can be a good dancer, but you can not be a great dancer! From this experience, I learned you will not get any where in life, unless you do the work first.  To achieve anything in life, there is always lots of sacrifices and hard work to first be completed. 

            Dance established the basis for me to be healthy.  I wasn't just going to dance lessons; it was like going to therapy every week.  I may have walked into dance with four tests at school that week, drama among junior high girls, and life in general, but not when I walked out.  When I left dance, I felt like a whole new person!  Dance lets you express yourself in a healthy way, when sometimes, there are no words to express what you are feeling.  It was also intense, low impact exercise.  It was great cardio, especially with Miss Mary’s tap routines! Even though ballet wasn't my favorite, it was excellent conditioning, and I grew to appreciate ballet. To this day, I keep active to minimize stress, support muscle tone, also it makes me feel good.   

           I also gained an appreciation of all types of music.  Dance helps in so many aspects of life, especially a young person's life.  It increases athletic abilities, engages both right and left brain thinking, creates excellent posture, and builds confidence. I can’t think of a better activity for children to keep their mind, body, and soul healthy. I am still reaping the benefits of dance today.  Dancing made me happy and still does.  Anytime I catch my toddler dancing, I encourage her – whether we are in public or at home – because I know it makes her happy.  That is the most wonderful thing about dance, it makes people happy.  If the music makes you want to move, then get moving!

Krista Smith Asbell

Public Educator

Are You Committed To Your Child's Success?

When I talk about the value that the fine arts have to offer children, to potential parents, I often feel that they may be thinking "here we go with the sales pitch". When really it is just my passion and experience over the years that makes me to want to share with everyone.

The value of the fine arts is huge for every child. And most of the time, there is a fine art that your child will enjoy (except for those fussy days where they do not enjoy anything). Some of the values are universal, so it does not matter which one your child is interested in or even if they later switch to another. But this BLOG post is not about the values of the arts.

This post is about what we as parents should consider when signing our children up for classes, school electives and activities. The questions we should ask. The plans we should make. The celebrations for successful moments. All of this is important and the hope is that parents will find value in this information for themselves.

Most children are signed up for classes or activities each season or year because it is what "everyone is doing". This is especially so for participation in short term activities such as community sports leagues, summer camps, etc. Mindlessly, parents line up with their child to register, because the neighbor down the street mentioned their child was going to participate in the activity, without even a thought about safety, child's interest, or even long term value from what the child will experience or learn from participation.

Then the parent sits in the stands, or worse, posts on Facebook, their rage at the volunteer coaches, umpires, other teams, camp attendants or parents. They are unhappy because they were already "too busy for this" and takes it out on the child when the child does not perform well through their participation level, or lack of. It is easy to brow beat a child who is seat belted in the back seat.

Long term classes, such as dance, music, art, gymnastics is also a breeding ground for displeasure for the parent when the child is not progressing as quickly as the young performers they see on television each week. This parent is displeased when their child is not able to perform a giant in gymnastics or a pirouette in ballet after completing a six week introductory class. After all, they do it on television reality shows! (Here is where knowing parents and teachers alike, smile.)

With any class or activity, parents are encouraged to take the time to fully research the situation and spend time talking to their children to find out if there really is an interest on the child's part. Be sure to enter into the new class or activity with as much information as possible. Ask a lot of questions at registration time. And verify one more time with you child, after they have heard all the details about participating in the class or activity. Also cover with your child about the commitment level expected. 

Some questions you may want to ask are:

1. What are the specific details about the class or activity? 

2. What are any safety concerns for my child?

3. Are the adults in charge volunteers or employees? What is their training level?

4. How do you prepare the coaches/ teachers to conduct the class or activity for my child?

5. Are the coaches or teachers background checked? Drug tested?

6. What is the learning objective for this class or activity?

7. What is the long term value for my child in participating in this class or activity?

8. Are there progression levels that are written out so I can see the expectations to reach the next level? Where can I find that information?

9. How will I know if my child makes the check offs for the levels or what they need to work on to continue progressing in the classes or activities?

10. If I have a question or concern, who do I speak with? 

11. Can my child really learn something to take with them in a 6-8 week class or activity?

12. What if my child does not enjoy this?

Always remember that when signing your child up for classes or activities that you are taking on a family commitment. A commitment to follow through to the end of the session, class or activity.  So do be careful when selecting programs or organizations. Find ones that are committed to your child's success. 

And always use the resources that are available to use to keep your child interested. Great programs and organizations have fantastic ways of keeping your child entertained and engaged for the long haul. Also remember that there will be days or even weeks your child will resist going to,something they originally wanted to do. Be patient with them but be committed to helping them see it through. They will later thank you for it........... Just remember that to be truly good at something, it takes time, hard word and commitment. An activity or class that has true long term values for your child needs to be an education. Commit to finding the best for your child. 

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