Why such a long time between posts? Family. Sometimes you just have to take a break and take care of family. And that is exactly what we did. Specifically, the absence was due to me needing to help take care of my parents needs, mostly my dad. Dad passed in May and I am beginning to catch my breath.....at least I think I am. Daddy had dementia for almost 30 years.
I bring up my Dad because he was the beginning of what I now do. Daddy was a musician. Actually a very good musician. But he never had a lesson in his life. He played multiple instruments, guitar, western steel guitar, mandolin, piano, a little bit of banjo. And he played them all by ear.
Daddy would sit next to me at the piano and watch me practice. He would look at the music books I had in front of me and would say, "Looks like chicken scratches to me." Then he would play the piano with me. Me playing from my books and Daddy adding chords. He is the one that taught me chords before I was even ready to learn them from Mrs. Evans, my first piano teacher.
Music was always in our house. From my uncles, aunts and cousins gathering at our house on the weekend to join in the playing of music, to Daddy listening to his Gospel records on Sunday mornings. Music was a big part of our world, an important part of our world.......we just did not realize it at the time.
When Daddy started having to walk with a walker and was slowing down some, I got the idea to build him a Pandora account with all of his old country musicians he loved so much. I would turn it on when we would walk in the house. He and I would circle around from the living room to the dining room, then the kitchen and hallway that lead back to the living room. Some days, he would only walk four or five times around. Other days, he would walk as much as thirteen to twenty two times around ( I would write down each day how many times so it could be given to his physical therapist that visited him at home.).
Daddy actually started getting stronger in his legs and would walk in tempo to the music, which made us laugh. When a quick two step would come on, I actually had a hard time holding onto his safety belt due to him walking to the tempo! Daddy really loved music. And I really love music, but I loved my Daddy more.
At his funeral, during the COVID-19 pandemic with so many regulations concerning safety at funerals, they played recorded music of Johnny Cash singing Amazing Grace and Alan Jackson singing I'll Fly Away. The morning of the day that Dad passed, he was in his wheel chair listening to music and I'll Fly Away came on. Daddy started nodding his head and tapping the beat with his fingers. When the song finished, he looked at me and smiled a crooked little smile. I said to him, "You really like that song." He responded with "Yeah".
Early that evening, while setting in his recliner, my Daddy was sleeping and he took his last breath. No lengthy hospital stays or nursing home. He stayed home with mom, my husband and I,.............and his music. Music was his special drug that made everything bearable. It helped when he was in pain or could not sleep. It expressed when he was sad or happy. For many months it was the only way he could walk any distance.
Music has always been a part of my life in my home growing up, at school in the Junior and Senior High Schools, and in my studio. I listen to music more than I even watch TV. Now music has even a more special part in my life. It holds the memories of my Daddy.
Mary Myers is the Owner and Director of Academy of Fine Arts in Woodward , Oklahoma.
